Tuesday 17 February 2015

Poem || "Heart-wrenching Countdown"

She killed the man that broke her heart
And she clawed her way out of the hole, hoping she would make it.
And she did. Almost. 
And there were people after her, so she jumped back in and,
She regretted ever getting herself into this mess in the first place and
Although things are better
She cries
Because the hole seems better than sunlight
And she's happy because she's falling now and her hair
Has never been this soft and
She sees strands in the air, bidding her a due
And she smiles and
It's been a while since she's done that.
Smiling.
She wants to let go of everything.
She doesn't want to live.
She decides to die.
And so she does.
In the middle of her fall; she stops her own heart and counts to ten
Hoping that's how long the angels need to come get her
She waits

One
She's waiting for something to happen; anything.
In the midst of silence
Two
She's not falling anymore
But there's a little boy with a toy in his hand
And he's calling for her
So she reaches out her hand
Three
And he doesn't touch her
He throws the toy at her and says, "You promised you would never leave me."
And she nods and
Then sobs
Four
'I need to go,' she wants to tell him
But she can't
Her voice is gone
Five
He calls out to her. Momma.
But she's not his Mom. Technically.
Six
And she waits for someone to help her but every one is on their IPhones
Then she catches a glimpse of a shadow and runs towards it 
Because she doesn't care who it is
She needs them to take care of her boy.
He's alone and she has decided to die.
And there's no going back
Seven
"Please" she finds her voice, "Help him"
The shadow turns around,
Silence.
It couldn't be.
Eight
It's the man she killed, who broke her heart, except it's not broken
And he's not dead.
It's beating in his hand.
Pump. Pump. Pump.
"I need it back. He's all alone and I chose to live. For him.
I thought you broke it, but it's there in your hand.
You kept it all these years, and I thank you, but I need it back."
Nine
He did not move. The heart's beating began to slow, and his face became dark.
She cries because she has less than a second
And she pleads him with her eyes
"It's not yours" he spoke. 
She sees the boy's soul fall and
He screams
And then she screams, but she's not dead yet.
And her baby's blood is on the floor; but she's not his mom, but she is.
And she died before she decided to
Because he was the reason she was alive
And he's the reason she's dying now.
And she looks at the man who broke her heart
And he's not dead.
But he's about to be.  

Ten

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