Tuesday, 17 February 2015

Dear Owls, explanation.

Dear Owls, 

Something I find incredibly personal is an explanation to my poetry. There are a few people I have shared the meaning of my poetry to in the past and it's never really been something I do publicly. Some may ask what a poem was inspired by or what lead me to write a certain thing, yet I give a general vague analysis- by far. Although my poetry may come off rather sad, I'm actually happy while writing it. The thing about putting your feelings down in such an obvious yet mysterious way has always been such an amazing blessing to have. 

To further add about the poem I wrote earlier, I won't say much since it's really self-explanatory. However, I will say this: the man who "broke her heart" does not/ and isn't (in this case) a love figure. He isn't a man she "fell in love with" and no where on there does it say that she ever did genuinely love him. In my mind, it could be a person who's trying to take a boy, who's probably as close as a child to her, away. It doesn't state the reason, but it does show anger and vengeance from both sides, which gives a whole different back story to the relationship between each of the characters stated. Plus, my brother got a stupid idiotic annoying virus that got him locked in the hospital for two days, maybe that's where the inspiration came from? Maybe not. That's all I'll say about it, but I do hope I'll post more of the poetry I write on here. It's not too bad of an escape route away from the silly world we're all floating in. 

Today, I visited my old school- Al Mawakeb, since our university is now visiting all the schools for career fair, or whatever they call it. I get to go to two schools because my childhood was rough and I attended every single school in Dubai... just 3 actually, but it's still rough. 
Next week I might be visiting the school I graduated from. Sigh. I'm actually worried. There are so many memories engraved into the walls, the chairs and doors. I'm so afraid of remembering everything I'm so desperately trying to forget. Don't get me wrong, I love the school and the memories it holds- I just miss them. 
There are two kinds of "yearnings" in the world. One is the Nice-Missing. When you miss something- and you can do something about it (like when you miss eating a burger and you grab one from the nearest store the next day). Then there's the Ugly-Missing type where you miss something and you don't have the power to do anything about it and you eventually choose not to. (like when you miss candy but you can't have it because you're diabetic and it could kill you)
Let's just say, even if I missed the memories in school, I couldn't have them back. What's even worse is that I'm not even sure if I want to go. I've got a Midterm on that day anyway, so I'll probably end up skipping the heartache. 

Ps: my favorite grandmother traveled today and it's sort of the emptiest feeling in the world- Ah, and that's another example of the Ugly-Missing. 

Yours with sighs of reminiscence, 

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