Dear Owls, i'm losing.

Dear Owls, 

I don't know if you've heard, but i'm loosing. I'm loosing hope in whatever i have left to believe in. 

As i said, job hunting isn't going so great, and every time i find something, it gets messed up. This very time, it didn't smash down because of my age, it was because of people around me not agreeing to the idea. I still do not know how to overcome this one, and i think i can't this time. This time, i'm loosing. 

I want to do so much, i want to contribute much more than what i'm giving now, but how can i if i'm restricted? I can't. 

I'm loosing my brain from how much thinking i have been doing about nothing. Yes, i'm thinking about nothing (as usual) 

Dubai in summer is going to be hot. 

And no, not supermeganfoxyawesome hot. i mean like heat, sweat, humid, smelly, sticky, ridiculous heat that'll eventually drive me crazy. Also, it'll probably give me enough nose bleeds to donate to the people in Africa.

Well, i'm off to study accounting. It's my last IGCSE and i hope it goes better than all that has been on. Hope i don't lose my marks too, or my grade. 

Enough is enough. 

(that was deep)

Yours with no finish line -get it, because i lost?

Me. 

Dear Owls, give this advice to girls.

Dear Owls, 

Girls around me, or not, do not understand what it means to have faith; faith in themselves especially. They do not understand the significance of having a long talk with themselves about simple things. They do not understand what it means to have an actual conversation with their future and wonder if they'll ever get a response. 

I'm not trying to put them down. I am, after all, one of those girls. I'm still trying to understand, i'm still trying to grasp the idea of not having another chance at times. I can not tell you if tomorrow is going to be easier or if your life will have anymore importance than it does now. I can't predict anything. But i can give you this:

• If someone lets you down, don't let them push you further. 
• If your friend, or family member, is not your comfort anymore, stop leaning on them. 
• When the time comes, you'll stop crying and you'll start reacting. Don't react badly with someone you love, you might lose them. 
• If life gives you lemons, take it. Free stuff is cool. 
• One day you'll feel so mad, you can't breathe. You'll start to wonder if anything is ever worth it. When that time comes, write a letter to someone you love, or even to yourself. Letters, in my personal experience, are the best way to get past lost words. 

Please tell every girl in the world that this gets better. Tell them that i may not know exactly what they're going through and if they're still reading, tell them that they're so so strong. Tell them they're gorgeous and brave, even if they don't feel that right now. I do. 

Ps: Owl if you're a girl. Then this letter may be for you too after all. If it's not, wait your turn, i'm writing a lengthy letter for your species (gender, if you must) too. 

Yours with open arms for a hug, 

Don't leave me hanging, 

C'mon hug me!

Me.

Be yourself, no matter how silly you may seem.
-A girl 

Dear Owls, it's destiny.

Dear Owls, 

Beautiful people, amazing inspirations, jaw-dropping places and then there's me. I'm just there. I'm so much smaller than i put myself for. Nothing i do at this exact moment makes a difference. I'm just one more thing in this fixed, fastened world that continues to revolve even when i beg of it to stop.

So if i'm so insignificant, so petty, why am i here in the first place? Why didn't God just put the important people placed exactly where they should be? Why should we bump into things at unexpected times? Why can't life just be handed to us? Why can't i just meet someone, or something, and hear exactly what i should do with my life? Whether i like it or not, it's going to happen. I have no control of my destiny, it's going to happen, what should i do i about it?
Right?
Wrong.

Thinking about it, if everything was handed to me, i'd probably live in boredom of the monotonous events. I do however feel that, if i am living as a role, might as well make it a good one.

Ralph Waldo once said, "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

And this scares me because, i have no idea what i'm going to "decide" to be. I can't even decide if i want a cheeseburger with ketchup or without... Wow, cheeseburgers. I need one of those; with or without ketchup.

I'll keep you updated on my long list of questions about life and what not. Until then, wish me luck on my wave of upcoming exams.

Yours with a doubtful smile,
me.