Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Dear Owls, saviors.

Sometimes, things change and you stand at a cross road, wondering where you went wrong.
Sometimes, you change and you're left with the doubt; "Has it been a change to the better or worse?"
Other times, you just stand so still that you manage to see your future dance alongside you, swaying to the mistakes you'll make and smile because they are perfect mistakes that will drag you to your success one day. You watch as your words slide off your past's tongue like pasta being eaten in reverse and you cry.
You cry because you wish you never told anyone that you'll be there for them. You wish you never told anyone you'll love them forever because sometimes when no one's looking, you feel like you're a disappointment. You can't be there for the person who needs you the most and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't smile for those who need to see you happy because that's really not how life works.
So, when everyone is asleep and you're left alone with your thoughts, you feel the constant buzzing of things gone wrong. You tell yourself that it's not your fault because you can't save everyone; but shouldn't you be able to save those who matter?
And when all your thoughts are screaming in your mind, your eyes searching for a shelter, your ears pounding from the voices, you stop for a moment and take in the beautiful disaster. You watch as the black and white memories develop colors and you see that life will move on. You see that your past is really just your past. Black and white will only be dull for so long, until someone grabs some crayons and fixes the unfinished masterpiece.
You realize that you can't keep worrying about saving everybody or even those who you promised you'll rescue because if you're out saving the world- who's going to save you?

Life is good, dear owls.
I hope one day mine will make an awesome difference in someone else's.

Yours always,

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