Friday, 25 July 2014

Dear owls, silly me.

Dear Owls, 

Just when I started thinking that summer was going great, my summer curse hit me. Hard. In case you don't already know, I am cursed with horrible summers for the rest of my life. If not the rest of my life, for use of a more optimistic view, the previous years I've lived. 

I found an amazing summer job, well so I thought. It turned out so bad. I was promised commission on anything I sold. I was also promised samples on most of the beauty products to try them out before I suggested them to customers. I was also told that my salary is not the only benefit to this job. Well, my boss was right, it was not. There were no benefits to this job. It was cool selling things to people and promoting all the products. I also enjoyed the satisfaction of getting someone to buy something. But here's when things got shitty... I was scolded if I couldn't sell the product? I was supposed to be friends with all the customers so that I could sell more effectively, but brought down if I couldn't do so? Not only this but I did not get the commission I was promised because I had to reach a certain "target" to start getting the reward. I was not told about the target, my boss even said, "Oh, you didn't know about this, but I'm telling you know so you are aware for the second month" 

Excuse me? 

If she thinks I'm staying for another month, she must have the summer heat on her side. I was about to stay. I thought tat staying wouldn't hurt, I could earn another sack of money, but not after what she did. I have worked in too many places to know that a deal is a deal. You can't promise to give someone you work with something and not give it to them later on. She is not my family, she is not my friend, she is someone I work with. By the end of it anyway, she was giving me too many responsibilities to handle and too many things to take care of. She was taking full advantage of the two months I was working and I just wasn't okay with it. 
I'm still not okay with it. I finish working this Sunday. I'm not coming back next month. I'm sorry if I hurt her feelings or that we came off on the wrong foot, but after everything that's happened to me in the short amount of time this month, I could care less about a complete stranger. Sorry, not sorry. 

The curse of summer continues when I tell you about my previous plans to spend my salary. My earning on the summer job was supposed to be spent on buying my mother a new IPad Mini, but that was happily flushed down the drain by my father. A...friend of mine. A best-friend of mine actually told me that my father would love the thought of me buying her one. I doubted it. I had a hunch that my father, as I know him very well, would not like it. 
True to my hunch, he didn't. He got mad and told me that she was in no need of a new IPad and that she already had one. To convince him I told him that it was "my salary and I was planning to get something for her anyway." and after he asked about the price, I told him that I have the "exact amount and that I don't need extra money from him". This made him very very angry. I knew it was stupid to say this to my angry father who doesn't want me depending on anyone but him, but it just slipped out. 
I'm going to keep the money. I have till the 27th of August (my mother's bday) to convince my father that the IPad is a great idea. As usual, everything I plan to do is a struggle. 

I feel like everything is bailing out on me. The person I used to talk to about everything is now someone I can't talk to about anything. It's something I have to deal with. I don't know what else to do. For now, I guess I just have to deal with everything. I knew it'll be hard, but I just didn't know how hard. Summer just sucks, I can't believe how every summer comes back to bite me in the ass. If my bestfriend was reading this, I'm pretty sure the first thought that would come to mind is "Ah, dramatic as usual." 

As promised, I will continue to do my best. I will continue to read, and I will continue to "kick ass" too. One of the promised I made was that whatever happens, I never give up on myself, and I never feel hopeless. Well... I guess I just have to pick up my act then. Since I'm quitting my job, I have more than enough time to focus on reading Reading and more READING. I'll start watching my favorite shows, and movies if I find stuff that I'm in the mood for. 
Things used to be more fun before. I used to enjoy things more before. I still do... don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed. I just feel missing

Well then my owls and whoever reads my idiotic blog, 
until the next blog entry, 


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