Dear Owls, the crying sky.

Dear Owls, 

It is dark and the moon is turning away from me. It seems I have upset the universe. 

The sky is crying and I cannot reach it to wipe it's tears. I am so sorry, little baby. I cannot save you from the world. I want to, but I can't. 

The stars are gone and the earth has another way of lighting itself up; fires in every corner, explosions on the next, is this my way of coping with it? A writer, too busy with words. What will my words really heal? What will my poems really patch?

The sun does not wish to speak to me either, the moon has bitched about me again. I cannot fathom the pain, I cannot suppress the anger. What do you expect me to do about it? How do you expect me to apologize? Even if I gather all the ladders of the world, how do you want me to reach you? You're too far up, and I've fallen too deep down. 

You tell me I'm selfish. that I can but I just don't want to. You tell me you're going to tell God all about the ugly things I did. Tell him. He's going to find out from one of us anyway. I'm sorry little baby, there is nothing I can do about it but write. As I write, I bleed. As I bleed, I shed old skin. I become newer versions of the new me. Why don't you look at me? Am I too unfamiliar? Is that supposed to bother me? Why doesn't it?

I want to save the souls in need. I want to jump mountains. I want to howl with the wolves. I want to kill the bad guy. I want to show you why I ran away, you never believed me when I told you. I want to rescue the universe, but what good can I do if I can't even wipe tears of a sky I made cry in the first place? Is this what it means to have your head in the clouds? With all your winds of rage, I guess I gave airhead a whole new meaning... 

Love, 

me.

A blog entry || spontaneous

Short letters written in diaries of different people at different times.

[A soldier during WWI]

Time is dancing.
Everybody pretends to know the moves.
This race is just digging themselves deeper into the dirt.
All hope is lost, I cannot see these people succeed at anything.

[A teacher during 1992]

Time is dancing.
My students sing to the music.
They tell me about their dreams.
They lift my spirits and I see hope of future.

[A murderer during 1995]

Time is dancing.
It is slipping through my finger tips.
I need another plan to kill my wife.
She has slept with another man; my brother.

[A gardener during 1998]

Time is dancing.
Soon my family will taste melodies.
I will feed them what I feed my boss.
Only a few more days and I'm free; Time is everything.

[A firefighter during 2001]

Time is dancing.
Children are screaming and I cannot help them.
We think we are progressing but we cannot even stop a fire.
All hope is lost, I cannot see these people succeed at anything.

Cut.

It is only those who save the world, that notice that there is nothing anyone can do to actually save the people from themselves. This world is lacking kindness. It is lacking honesty. It is lacking bravery. It is lacking the emotions that were given to us to free ourselves from our demons.
Instead we lose the battle.

We want to prove a point.
We want to free the girl; then kiss the girl; then kill the girl.
We want to show the world that we are victims.
That we are Gods.
But we are humans.
And humans can love, but they choose to loathe.
And that is the only thing keeping us away from true victory.

I do not cry often, but lately I cry for the boy that lost his toy.
I cry for the girl that lost her friends. And her self esteem.
I cry for the thousands of people who choose to live hungry than die defeated.
I cry for the ones with so much money they do not know where to put it; I know a few places.

I do not cry often.
But lately, my tears are all I have to offer.

I love the world and everything it has to offer.
I'm smarter than I was before because I know when to stop letting burdens get me down.
But in my moments of weakness I catch myself loving the world too much; loving humans too much.
And even though I say I cannot stand them, sometimes it seems I cannot stand without them.

Happy New Year,
To everyone who's writing a new chapter,
a new book.
May you never lose your bookmark.

Me.

Dear owls, the lack of kindness.

Dear Owls, 

My mind has blurred out a lot from this world. With each thing that I see in the real world, through real life experiences or news article/ update, it just brings to closer to the conclusion that some people just shouldn't be alive. It's a scary thought to think that someone with the same organs as you wants to do harm to others. It's also a disgusting reality. 

We learn from a young age not to trust strangers, but we disregard the fact that the people who know you best are probably the ones that end up hurting you in the end. So, what if all those people being hurt by others are actually hurt by people they knew? Regardless of who is causing terror across the world, it's still happening. People sometimes, I believe, stray from the ultimate reason they were put on this planet- funny how it has nothing to do with hurting others. 

If you don't want to believe in the afterlife, you might at least want to believe in karma. The famous old, "What goes around comes around". The perfect example to this is a yawn. If you yawn, someone else will probably yawn too. You probably yawned at this sentence because you imagined someone yawning... and so the cycle continues. (or you yawned now) 

Yawning is very much life doing bad to others. If you hit someone, someone will probably hit you back eventually in life. If you did something evil to someone, someone might actually do the same evil to you or maybe to your children in the future. 

But of course, this generation only cares about now. It is a generation of trends not footprints. They don't care if they leave a mark in the road at the end of the day, they just want to insure they've been paying attention to the next best thing. 

The world is changing. And not to the better. Regardless of what you probably see on the infamous media platforms, you need to start framing your own opinions about what's going on around the world. You can't rely on someone else to tell you what you should think. One day you might regret making the mistake of leaving your voice in the hands of those who cannot speak kindness. 

With all my best, 

me. 

Dear Owls, God.

Dear Owls, 

I don't talk about God much on my blog and it's not because he's not an important part in my life, but because his value in my life is so great that I don't really know what to say. I believe that God has and will always be there for me no matter what situation I am put into. And this reminder keeps the monsters under the bed, keeps the dirtiest secrets clean and keeps my mind at bay.

See, what I love most about God is his presence, his stand with me. Some people don't know God like I do, and that's rather sad. I know him. I truly got to know him every time he has been with me throughout all my battles. In my times of desperation, I pray to him and everything is instantly better, at least in my mind. I know from the teachings of God that forgiveness and letting go are the most important things in life. 

"This life was designed to break your heart"

Putting your life in the hands of humans is pathetic, and most people do it. God knows I did it. If you were made weak, how could you expect other people to depend on you? You're allowed to screw up. You're allowed to look back at your life and see a few messed up days. To err is human, to punish is the monstrosity. If someone has made a mistake, God has trusted me with the responsibility that I will forgive and forget. After all, when you are under the ground, naked and bare with no one to talk to but your angels, what will you say? Will you tell them how you spent your days on earth gossiping, fighting, swearing, complaining and making life harder on yourself? 

See, life wasn't made to be easy. God put us through things that will eventually teach us a lesson. When I was younger, I would blame everything on everyone else, telling all my friends that my life sucked because of so and so factors. Growing up, I realized that was bull. Blaming people gets you nowhere and it's the most chicken thing I ever did. Fessing up, seeing that you're in control of your mistakes and past... that's what got my engines turning. I stopped living for others and started living for God. I started living for my rewards later on, and even if there are some who speculate the afterlife- at least do people a favor and live a good life for your own health. 

It's been proven that people who keep things in their heart have unhealthy minds and bodies. So, no thanks. I'd rather live knowing that I lived every single second of my breath with compassion, with love, with kindness. 

Even though mercy doesn't pay the bills, it pays the debts. Debts that you've held people accountable for, loans of promises of people gave to you that you just don't know why they don't pay back. Humans cannot be depended on. For a matter of fact, humans can't be trusted- not that I don't occasionally try to test that theory. The truth to the matter is that every body is going through something different, and it's just wrong to expect someone to prioritize your life over theirs. You need to be able to pick yourself up whenever you need to and wipe off the dust, while having a support system of course, just don't place your happiness in the hands of a human and complain about the damage done. God is greater than everything and everyone. Placing your happiness in the palms of God is the one true insurance to not getting heartbroken. 

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow, Learn as if you were to live forever" -Gandhi

Probably one of my favorite quotes ever, I love to live by these words because I can't stop learning. I doubt I will ever retire from my ever longing search to learn. Google is my bestfriend. Books are my right hand. Even the movies and shows I watch are the one true things that keep me going because they do teach you a lot. I think we are shaped by what we know and by what we don't; they go hand in hand. 

"Last night I lost the world and gained the universe" C JoyBell

This world is just step one. It is a test and a hard one. You don't have to believe in God. You don't even have to believe in anything and that remains a choice that you keep with you and I have nothing but respect to your choice- but I just can't say I agree. Sometimes believing in the unseen can keep you longing for more. Sometimes in your times of true confusion, you need something so great to remind you where you're going. At least that's the case with me.

 But if you want to believe in a higher power, you need to believe that losing the world is step one. Lose your need for material, your need for popularity, your craving for money, your lust for love and possession, your untamed hunger for more. You can't be happy in this world if you're running after things that were made to intrigue you. You need to seek to be comfortable, content and compassionate. Not happy. You should be happy about being comfortable but not the other way around. Being happy doesn't mean you have everything you want forever, it just means for that second in that little amount of time, you had what you needed. 

Happiness doesn't last very long. Put your comfort in things that are ever stable like, helping others, the stars, a beautiful sunset, seeing another human smiling. 

Be humble and stop asking people to give you what you need to seek alone. The quest for true purpose is hard, it's confusion and time consuming. However, it resonates to these few things; learn, laugh and love. But always work hard, without compromising these three things. 

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.” - Erma Bombeck

Seek the things you want most in life, gain friendships and lose them if you need to, the same goes with money. Don't be afraid to lose the money you gained. Don't be hesitant to call an old friend. Don't underestimate a simple wave to your neighbor. 

Don't sleep on the things God gave you. 

Don't count sheep, while others count blessings. 

Everything that God has put in your life is written to be there. It didn't magically land on your plate. Every grain of rice is a blessing from God that you need to remind yourself others don't have. Don't however get mad at the fact that others don't have this blessing- let God do his own job, let him teach people whatever lessons they need to learn and cleanse their soul in whatever way needs cleansing. 

For those of you who don't believe in God and feel somehow uncomfortable, I don't apologize for this post. It's my blog and I want to believe that I am free to talk about whatever crosses my mind. If you're offended in any way by the this, you're welcome to stop checking my blog. It's really all a choice after all. 

I respect everyone's decision to believe and not believe whatever they want, however when you start stepping on someone else's ground, telling them who you think they should be and what you think they should do, that's just a bit too much. People should really start focusing on their own path and realize that we really do have a purpose in life and there really is something waiting for us at the end of this rainbow. Some rainbows shorter than others. Reassess yourself every now and then and just see if your life coincides with the one God expects of you. 

Love to everyone and safe wishes. 

My heart goes out to all those in mourning to what's happening around the world. 

Me.

Dear Owls, journey to the center of the earth.

Dear Owls, 

What do you do when the only thing you can think about is how weak you are? What do you do when your feet tremble at the thought of thinking about thinking- just because your thoughts are that messed up. Feelings are always confusing. Mine are just annoying. A friend told me that it's only human to feel, but what she didn't understand was that I was simply tired of being human.

The idea that you've been putting on a smile for so long to only have it knocked right off your face is nerve wrecking; it's repulsive and a perfect definition of a waste of time. However, it's only human. It's the only way to know how strong you are as a person. If we didn't go through things that test our last breath, that make us feel like falling into a pool and never coming out, we wouldn't know how amazing each of us truly are.

Friendship is a powerful thing. There are two types of people, some who say you can choose your friends and others who say friends choose you, that you can't really pick and drop who you want your friends to be. For a very long time, I used to think I was the second type. I thought I could go through life and let the right people come to me, but now I'm not so sure. I still stand with the belief about myself that I can never get too close, I can try but there's always something in me that will be afraid of disappointments- mostly those I'm responsible for. But lately, the sight of friendship amuses me. It's just a beautiful thing to see friendship among people; a series of conversations about the past of each friend, people they've met or people they are yet to meet together, inside jokes and memories being shared. Seeing people laughing so hard, they need to cover their faces so deep into the ground, past the mantle down to the inner core, their face coming back up flustered red from the intensity of the heat.

Laughter is someone I've lost in touch with, an old friend Adele would probably sing about. I want to tell laughter that I've simply been on a journey of self recovery, and I'm coming back for it. Sometimes you need to leave certain things in your life and come back to them only when your strong enough to face the heat without getting burnt.

Yours,
A returning traveler.

Motivation || How to Get Over the Deadly Writer's Block

Step one: Refreshing 

Sometimes, all you need to do it drink some tea or coffee and brainstorm what is the message you want to send to the world. Everybody has something they want to say, once you find out what it is you find important- write about it. Just put in some bullet points and make a story out of it. 

Get some perspective on your topic. Whether you want to write a novel, poem or short story about a certain topic (love, mystery, action, thriller etc...) always make sure you've done enough research. People will most likely listen to someone who has legitimate information about what they're saying.

Step two: Start somewhere!

Writing about a writer’s block is better than not writing at all.

–Charles Bukowski

More times than others, you've got an idea, you've got a plot, character list, trigger and ending... but you have NO idea where to go about from there. Here are a few links that are SUPER helpful to start you story somewhere:

Here's a link to generate random first lines to your story with (check out the links on the left, they've got other generators too!)

http://writingexercises.co.uk/firstlinegenerator.php

Here's a link to FULL of other links of other generators with a genre or theme, amazing stuff and great content!

http://www.springhole.net/writing_roleplaying_randomators/plotgens.htm

Here's another link for prompt makers, but on this site you can make 10 at a time if you wanted. 

http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=writeprompt

Here's a link that tells you "How to make your novel helplessly addicting"

http://victoriamixon.com/2010/10/04/5-ways-to-make-your-novel-helplessly-addictive/

Step three: Try something new 

• Go to a different place and write
• Write at a different time: If you write at night, try waking up early and write when you've got peace and quiet. If you're really committed to writing, this task won't be too hard.
• Coffee, tea and chocolate: I stress on this point the most.
• Write about not being able to write: Most bestseller authors confess that sometimes this is the only thing that gets them through writers block. It's funny how allowing yourself to write badly or about our weaknesses can help.
• Watch videos and short films on YouTube to feel inspired.
• Slam poetry, TED talks and motivational speeches are other cures 

Step four: Read More Books 

To become a writer, we need to learn from other writers. 

In the process of getting too excited to write our book/story we sometimes forget that we need to do the research first. It's boring and tiring but every writer needs to have a background to what they're writing. I love blogging, but I sometimes dislike the "research" part of things, because it takes forever to find what you're looking for. Don't get me wrong though, researching is really fun when you're JUST reading and learning- when you research to put things in your own words, things get much more annoying. 

Unfortunately, it is a crucial part of writing because, like I said before, people will respond better when you can back your story with facts (if it's necessary) For example; if you're writing about a Russian Spy, at least research a bit about what you want to say and if it's actually realistically possible. You never know if some nerdy kid in Russia calls you off on your lie about how "Kenya is the capital" or something less obviously absurd. 

When all else fails... read articles about the problem

1. How to Overcome Writers Block 
2. Creative Cures for Blocks
3. 27 Wacky Ways to Cure Blocks 

Goodluck!

Everyone goes through these days, but what you shouldn't do is just stop writing because it's not your day or month. Sometimes your best worst comes after a drought. Keep working and trying to get things write, even if you have to let yourself mess up a few times. 

Remember, it doesn't need to be perfect!

Dear Owls, observer.

Dear Owls, 

It's been a bumpy road from insanity to a more stable insanity. 

This semester, I've been more busy than ever and I like it. Of course those around me will beg to differ because of my mini (understatement) freak-out sessions. However, I like that I'm doing a lot. It's beats doing nothing. I'm in a ton of clubs to which I'll elaborate on later. I'm in 

I want to read more. There are so many stories in books that I don't even know about, that thought kills me on the inside. It literally creeps into my soul and makes me want to pause time. My God, if I could just pause the world for an hour... all the books I can catch up on. 

Each morning, I wake up being grateful. All the stories I read about people around the world, all the problems people face, it gets me so emotional. It makes me want to stop complaining. For a club, I was reading articles about problems around the world and I just keep stumbling on one thing after another. It's like it never stops. 

Tomorrow, I've got a thousand things on hold. I'm so stressed but blessed to have this kind of stress in my life. Sure, I'm screwed if I don't get everything done... but where's the challenge if it's all smooth sailing. 

It's been a while since I've written something on here, but I haven't got much to say really... just an observer these days, watching what life has to throw at everyone else including me. Sometimes you get more lessons out of silence. Sometimes saying something leaves more scars than it should. 

To all those who aren't sure what to say; always speak your mind. Tell the people you know what's on your mind, or at least, tell them the truth. If you can't do that- join me in being an observer- don't say anything.

Yours always,

me.