Dear Owls, the crying sky.

Dear Owls, 

It is dark and the moon is turning away from me. It seems I have upset the universe. 

The sky is crying and I cannot reach it to wipe it's tears. I am so sorry, little baby. I cannot save you from the world. I want to, but I can't. 

The stars are gone and the earth has another way of lighting itself up; fires in every corner, explosions on the next, is this my way of coping with it? A writer, too busy with words. What will my words really heal? What will my poems really patch?

The sun does not wish to speak to me either, the moon has bitched about me again. I cannot fathom the pain, I cannot suppress the anger. What do you expect me to do about it? How do you expect me to apologize? Even if I gather all the ladders of the world, how do you want me to reach you? You're too far up, and I've fallen too deep down. 

You tell me I'm selfish. that I can but I just don't want to. You tell me you're going to tell God all about the ugly things I did. Tell him. He's going to find out from one of us anyway. I'm sorry little baby, there is nothing I can do about it but write. As I write, I bleed. As I bleed, I shed old skin. I become newer versions of the new me. Why don't you look at me? Am I too unfamiliar? Is that supposed to bother me? Why doesn't it?

I want to save the souls in need. I want to jump mountains. I want to howl with the wolves. I want to kill the bad guy. I want to show you why I ran away, you never believed me when I told you. I want to rescue the universe, but what good can I do if I can't even wipe tears of a sky I made cry in the first place? Is this what it means to have your head in the clouds? With all your winds of rage, I guess I gave airhead a whole new meaning... 

Love, 

me.

A blog entry || spontaneous

Short letters written in diaries of different people at different times.

[A soldier during WWI]

Time is dancing.
Everybody pretends to know the moves.
This race is just digging themselves deeper into the dirt.
All hope is lost, I cannot see these people succeed at anything.

[A teacher during 1992]

Time is dancing.
My students sing to the music.
They tell me about their dreams.
They lift my spirits and I see hope of future.

[A murderer during 1995]

Time is dancing.
It is slipping through my finger tips.
I need another plan to kill my wife.
She has slept with another man; my brother.

[A gardener during 1998]

Time is dancing.
Soon my family will taste melodies.
I will feed them what I feed my boss.
Only a few more days and I'm free; Time is everything.

[A firefighter during 2001]

Time is dancing.
Children are screaming and I cannot help them.
We think we are progressing but we cannot even stop a fire.
All hope is lost, I cannot see these people succeed at anything.

Cut.

It is only those who save the world, that notice that there is nothing anyone can do to actually save the people from themselves. This world is lacking kindness. It is lacking honesty. It is lacking bravery. It is lacking the emotions that were given to us to free ourselves from our demons.
Instead we lose the battle.

We want to prove a point.
We want to free the girl; then kiss the girl; then kill the girl.
We want to show the world that we are victims.
That we are Gods.
But we are humans.
And humans can love, but they choose to loathe.
And that is the only thing keeping us away from true victory.

I do not cry often, but lately I cry for the boy that lost his toy.
I cry for the girl that lost her friends. And her self esteem.
I cry for the thousands of people who choose to live hungry than die defeated.
I cry for the ones with so much money they do not know where to put it; I know a few places.

I do not cry often.
But lately, my tears are all I have to offer.

I love the world and everything it has to offer.
I'm smarter than I was before because I know when to stop letting burdens get me down.
But in my moments of weakness I catch myself loving the world too much; loving humans too much.
And even though I say I cannot stand them, sometimes it seems I cannot stand without them.

Happy New Year,
To everyone who's writing a new chapter,
a new book.
May you never lose your bookmark.

Me.

Dear Owls, journey to the center of the earth.

Dear Owls, 

What do you do when the only thing you can think about is how weak you are? What do you do when your feet tremble at the thought of thinking about thinking- just because your thoughts are that messed up. Feelings are always confusing. Mine are just annoying. A friend told me that it's only human to feel, but what she didn't understand was that I was simply tired of being human.

The idea that you've been putting on a smile for so long to only have it knocked right off your face is nerve wrecking; it's repulsive and a perfect definition of a waste of time. However, it's only human. It's the only way to know how strong you are as a person. If we didn't go through things that test our last breath, that make us feel like falling into a pool and never coming out, we wouldn't know how amazing each of us truly are.

Friendship is a powerful thing. There are two types of people, some who say you can choose your friends and others who say friends choose you, that you can't really pick and drop who you want your friends to be. For a very long time, I used to think I was the second type. I thought I could go through life and let the right people come to me, but now I'm not so sure. I still stand with the belief about myself that I can never get too close, I can try but there's always something in me that will be afraid of disappointments- mostly those I'm responsible for. But lately, the sight of friendship amuses me. It's just a beautiful thing to see friendship among people; a series of conversations about the past of each friend, people they've met or people they are yet to meet together, inside jokes and memories being shared. Seeing people laughing so hard, they need to cover their faces so deep into the ground, past the mantle down to the inner core, their face coming back up flustered red from the intensity of the heat.

Laughter is someone I've lost in touch with, an old friend Adele would probably sing about. I want to tell laughter that I've simply been on a journey of self recovery, and I'm coming back for it. Sometimes you need to leave certain things in your life and come back to them only when your strong enough to face the heat without getting burnt.

Yours,
A returning traveler.

Dear Owls, destruction.

Dear Owls, 

At this point in my life, I'm just so caught up with all the unfortunate people around the world. Everything that's going on, specifically in the Arab world, just brings so much pain and aching to my heart. It's gotten to such a point where I really become so down and lost in thought about it. I've been keeping in touch with all the news and updates about all the situations going on around the world.

I don't even have my social media on my notifications, but I do have these News updates so that I know exactly when something new happens and I can read the article about it. Some of the people around me have told me how this is all just negativity and that keeping it out of your mind is so much better for emotional health; but does avoiding the problem mean that there isn't a problem? Is it okay that I just sit here and listen to all this bad stuff happening to all these good people? There's nothing I can do and there's nothing I will do because wars have been going on for centuries. Ever since mankind began, war was always an issue. But acknowledging the problem, praying for these people and spreading the world is the least I can do, it's the least everyone can do.  

However, this is insanity. People being asked to leave their countries. Refugees being thrown at the borders. Many of them, most of them children! It's such a hard weight for my heart to carry and my thoughts and tears go out to the mothers of these children, the caretakers who have to watch all this happen to them while they die on the corner- their last memory of the universe, their last sight would be their children's blood spilling on the floor of those who did not have enough power to keep their floor white. And who do we blame then? Who do we curse at? Who do we aid?

And what about what happened in Makka, Saudi Arabia? No worries about the people who died being squashed by crane, but what do I say about inconsiderate people around the world who cheered for this crane, calling it "Karma for the towers on 9/11". What is wrong with the world? What is this logic that we have been using? Does nobody see how damaging labels are? Making it easier to hate people at a faster rate, simply by saying "I hate Muslims" or "I hate Americans". That's almost like saying you've met EVERY single American there is out there and you've managed to hate them all. 

All this used to be a joke before, but I'm not sure that people realize how serious this is. People are desperately fighting for the things we take for granted, for things we go through normally on a daily basis. So I ask of you this, the next time you take a warm shower, drink a sip of water, eat an apple, or even go to bed with at least a blanket... please just appreciate it. Be grateful and happy. Sleep like there's literally no tomorrow, because for some people, there sometimes isn't. 

Do this for a few days and watch your world change. The bag you thought you "really" needed becomes another thing that's just a luxury, the stain on your favorite shirt becomes a battle scar, your headache becomes a blessing of surviving a long day of hard work, your fight with your parents becomes another opportunity of bonding moments through resolving and every breath you take will feel so valuable, you almost want to bottle it up and cherish it. 

This world is becoming too drawn away from the ultimate purpose, which is not to make money but rather make meaning. Do your best today, do it for someone who's taking their last breath right now. 

I'd love to hear your comments.

Yours always, 

Me. 

Again, Life.

I am the brave little boy that stands in front of his abusive mother and tells her to stop. 

I am the mother that lost her mind trying to pay the bills. 

I am the pain in her eyes. 

I am the hope in her voice. 

I am the cold winter laugh that sings Jingle Bells to those who need to hear it. 

I am Life.

I am the soldier in the war of never getting the right luck. 

I am the blood slipping down his eye, I am a tear drop on the floor. 

I am the man in the suit cheating on his wife. 

I am the doubting wife. 

I am fear that love is never true. 

I am fear in general. 

I am Life.

I am the girl in the dress that never fit her waistline right. 

I am the insecurities that tie her down to the ground. 

I am the prom queen who doesn't like the king. 

I am the pills being shoved into mouths of those who do not want me. 

I am anger at the breakfast table.

I am the loss at the end of the poker game. 

I am a gambler.

I am life. 

I am the lies you feed your brain. 

I am the loss of a best friend.

I am the cake with no candles. 

I am the birthday that passed.

I am the thieve that stole your voice.

I am the cold phone handle. 

I am the lost Skype connection.

I am your past. 

How did it get so messy?

I am Life. 

I am the wind that only brings hurricanes. 

I am the tides of liquids that only hurt your liver. 

I am the third drink at a bar. 

I am the regret the next morning. 

I am the ache at the middle of the night. 

I am the baby crying for milk. 

I am the mother too drunk to feed it. 

I am Life. 

But I am also joy. 

I am new beginnings. 

I am sappy movie trailers and long walks. 

I am stupid snorts of laughter. 

I am Brangelina's first child. 

I am the sigh before a sneeze. 

I am the laugh after a fart. 

I am Life!

I am the smiles on a first date. 

I am the prom queen in her dress. 

I am the first kiss in a Cafe. 

I am the slow dance in a wedding. 

I am the hope of winning the lottery. 

I am hope. 

I am Life! 

I am payday. 

I am the doorbell when you ordered Pizza. 

I am the fresh ironed school uniform.

I am the sun setting. 

I am the sun rising.

I am the sun. 

I am the dress that never fit. 

I am the girl that didn't care anymore. 

I am the confidence in her walk. 

I am the shimmy in her shake. 

I am the burgers hanging on her thighs. 

I am the salads on her plate. 

Let's face it, she doesn't do salads. 

And I'm the look on her face that says, 

"I'm okay with that."

I'm the happiness in a pickup line. 

I am the girl that slapped the boy for using it. 

I am the boy that used it again. 

On the same girl. 

Ada boy. 

I am the ambiance in a buffet. 

I am the comfort in a bed. 

I am the hugs between friends. 

I am the inside jokes.

I am the memories. 

The good ones. 

The ones that don't keep you up at night. 

I am the smell of fresh baked French Bread. 

I am the flame in a barbecue

I am the dog crying for his owner. 

I am the owner 5 seconds away from home. 

I am the jump in the dog's welcome. 

I am life. 

And sometimes, I'm not so bad.

The Nature of Freedom.

As the vines braided their way around my house, I slowly felt more and more disconnected to the world. With each twirl and bend, I sought the need to seek adjust to the prison that would soon become my life. Slowly yet effectively, my house began to sink into darkness until the last ray of sunlight shined on the table across the room; it came from an uncovered spot on the window. Fortunately, the vines didn't do as good a job at covering it than it hoped for.

The house was relatively dark, yet I could walk my way around if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. It was a ghastly sight and experience to feel trapped in your own habitat by the forces of nature. The idea that even if I screamed my lungs out and nobody would hear me was just unsettling. I waited for my eyes to adjust, then sat in the corner of the room... sobbing.

For the first few days, I wondered why the vines chose my house to hug- was it that horrible, that it needed to be covered? What did I do to deserve utter detachment from the mankind? I grabbed a chair and stood the spot on the window where the sword of light hit. With one eye on the window, the other closed, I saw the people I would see every day not bothered that my house was in complete isolation. Most of the people I knew to be very considerate, trusted with my life, were unfazed by what was happened, almost forgetting that I ever existed in the first place.

A couple weeks had passed, I guessed, and some of my relative began to worry. They knocked on the vines and waited for an answer that would never come. Many tried to tug and rip off the plant. However, it seemed like the more they tried to help me, the stronger their grip became. Eventually, they would stop and stand there for a few seconds, staring at what had happened to one of the happiest, calmest houses in the neighborhood; wondering, like I did, why?

Every day for a month, I would sit at the table where the light shined in the morning and contemplate the mistakes I had done to deserve this nature bound lock. At first I was bitter, angry and frustrated with the world. I doubted my purpose and existence, reexamining everything I had ever done and if my life even had a reason. I didn't know what was happening around the world or the latest celebrity gossip. I couldn't reply to my emails, stalk hot guys on the media, tell my friends about the exciting things that happened during the day, or see how they were doing or rather if they missed me.

One day, to make things a whole lot better, some of my closest friends stuck signs outside my house, where my vision could reach, blaming me for not contacting them or keeping in touch with them for a very long time, saying that if I really cared, I would have found a way to cut down the vines. I wanted to tell them that I tried, that the only way I could get rid of the vines was to burn down the house- and that would've been suicide.

Suddenly, the curse of vines had eventually become a blessing. I began to cherish my time on the table to contemplate, relax and avoid people-related drama. Gossip about people I have not seen in years did not matter as much to me. Friends that did not understand that they needed to wait for me until the vines died off, weren't friends I wanted to keep anymore. The table became a filter; a window. The table seating was also a place I mourned those I missed most outside the walls of my house and I prayed for them to find happiness and a life full of adventure. Although I wanted to have them with me on the table, eating breakfast like we would normally do, eventually I needed to wish them a better life- without me in it. I began writing about my experiences, hoping someone would relate- or not- people didn't really matter as much anymore. Ironically, people matter more. How does that work? People's opinions did not mean much, but the people I knew would be supportive are the ones that really meant the most.

Years after waiting in solitude, I lost hope. The vines did not fall and the roots seemed to dig deeper in. I was beginning to think I would never speak to another person again, until one day I did something rather odd.

I watered the plant.

The vines had already found their way through the windows, breaking the glass, so it made it easier for me to offer it some water. I'm not sure why I had watered it, or what I was thinking, but I'm glad I did. With the purest intentions, I pondered how tall and wide it would grow if I nurtured it. I thought to myself, if I was stuck here I might as well be doing something worthwhile. One day, I said to myself, someone will find the stories I had written sitting on my table, they will see the lovely paintings I drew and marvel at my patience; how I managed to stay all these years trapped.

I watered the curse and it became a blessing.

Once I got past my hatred towards it, it slowly withered as if offering me one last sight of it's colors all at once; sailing away with shades of lime green, bark brown and then eventually coal black. You would suppose that after all these years of being stuck between walls, I would've ran to the door. You are wrong. I did not move, as if the idea of being free upset me. My body quivered and my feet numbed. Being free did not upset me; it disgusted me. After all these years, I began to share a bond with this plant. Then the disturbing thought crept through my skull and widened my eyes... "Did my kindness kill the plant, or did my hatred foster it ?"

 Both maybe.

Dear Owls, New Pain.

Dear owls, 

The last time I wrote here, I was starting my Newsletter, getting paid for a summer job and confused about decisions I had to make for myself. It's odd how my issues back then seem so simple now. It's almost like in the past few months, I've become a completely different person. Whether I like the person I've become or not, I'm not sure, but I like to think that I'm getting there. 

A quick recap: Second semester of University, First year. Nothing has been going on... really. 

However, I have had a breakdown, a change of train tracks and for that reason, I need to find out quickly where I want my train to switch to; left or right. I'm going through a phase where I'm quickly losing understanding of why certain things happen to certain people and do not happen to others. I've heard all my life that everything happens for a reason but nobody says anything else about it, other than a polite smile. We, as humans, have come to believe that everything in our life happens for the pure purpose of another event happening. 

Is that really what Life is? A combinations of events? Let's just say it is, since I'm so keen on finding my own definition for Life. 

To continue my definition; why is life so freaking hard? But then, when you think it's all over and it's better than you ever hoped it would be, it slaps you in the face again. Why does Life do that to you? Is that what it adds to? 

Life /noun/ A combination of events over the years of your existence and your tolerance towards them in attempt to continue living. 

That's not too bad. It sums up what I've learnt over the past years and after all my years of asking what the hell life is, I guess it's a pretty good conclusion- cliche, but good.  

And apologies for a crappy post, I guess it's just me trying to work out metaphoric pieces of a metaphoric puzzle that I can't tolerate trying to solve anymore. A lot has been taken away from me, and I guess in the process I'm trying to be grateful for what I still have. I haven't been kind to my surrounding, I've been bitter, uptight, angry and confused. 

Honestly, I'm just scared. And the idea that there are some things in life I can't control doesn't make it easy. They tell you "Life tests you to your breaking point, just to show you how much you can withstand", but I'm not sure if I'm going to be strong enough to handle my breaking point. 

At times like these, you try to remind yourself that other people have it worse than you do, that one day you'll look back at your life and laugh at your struggles- but they never really tell you how you overcome them. Maybe that's why you end up laughing. 

You laugh at your past because you were so stupid, stressing over things you couldn't possible fix, crying over people who couldn't even hear you and looking for answers that didn't want to be found. 

You laugh because you're tired of crying. And maybe that's what life is. Life isn't who you are, rather what you did with yourself. Contrary to what I thought it was, Life isn't a noun, it's a verb. 

Life /verb/ Adjusting, overcoming, or adapting.

Love always, 

Me. 

  

Dear Owls, tough.

Dear Owls, 

Why does it always have to be a struggle? Why does life have to toss us lemons? Why can't everything just be easy? Why can't lemonade just be thrown at me?

I guess all you had an answer to my question already. 

I think deep down, us humans like struggle, we anticipate it on our morning walk. We wait for the coffee to spill on our shirt. We want problems to happen. We love when the tough gets worse because only when things get really bad, do we know the people we really are. You don’t become “Mr. Angry Pants” until someone calls you that after a fight. You didn't meet the pretty girl on the way to work if you didn't bump into her, spilling coffee on your shirt and letting her offer you another one. I think, subconsciously, us humans know that it is only within our complications do we find unexpected happiness, and that makes us get through the pain faster, almost letting the problem fix itself. It’s a very powerful technique, and you aren't born with it or raised to think it; it just happens. By the billionth time you've been disappointed, by the billionth and first time you’re just thinking, “You know what, screw it!”… And that’s when you've found the true beauty of problems.

It’s not called giving up by the very least; it’s more like giving in. You give in to the situation because you choose not to run away from it. You choose to go by the “I don’t care what happens next” method, because in reality, you have no control of what happens next, you only control what happens last and how you choose to deal with everything.

I guess I’m just finding it hard to understand that even though I feel horrible at times, I just have to believe that somewhere out there, I’ll be a better person. Then again, I could become a total ass, and I decide which direction I want to take. I could decide whatever goes next- and that terrifies me. What if I go wrong somewhere along the way? What if I already went wrong?

Well, until I find the right and wrong on another messed up Friday,

Yours always,

Me.

Dear Owl, Im at work.

Dear Owls, 

So i'm at the office with dad and i have my ow cubicle! Sounds cool? Good. That's as cool as it gets. I've literally got nothing to do and i'm bored as ever, but i'm catching up on my reading, so that's a good thing! So, 100 movies and 10 books. 

Wait. 

What! 

We thought you were reading 30 books (whoever 'we' is) 

But no, sadly i've come to a conclusion that being lazy is way better than being stressed. 10 books is great too. It gives me enough time to deal with everything else. Like what? Oh you know... 

Teenage problems. 

I must go to laser tag soon, what else can i do in Dubai? Hmm... maybe i'll take Waz to a movie, or Magic Planet. Thing is, we always end up fighting. Guess i'll just stick to playing Call Of Duty with him, it's Black Ops 2, if anyway cares.
It's really funny how this summer is even more boring than i thought it would be; i wouldn't go back to school though. Gosh, hell just follows you around everywhere doesn't it?
Well, let's see how all this turns out then, shall we?

Yours with a boredom strike,
bored.

Dear Owls, i'm losing.

Dear Owls, 

I don't know if you've heard, but i'm loosing. I'm loosing hope in whatever i have left to believe in. 

As i said, job hunting isn't going so great, and every time i find something, it gets messed up. This very time, it didn't smash down because of my age, it was because of people around me not agreeing to the idea. I still do not know how to overcome this one, and i think i can't this time. This time, i'm loosing. 

I want to do so much, i want to contribute much more than what i'm giving now, but how can i if i'm restricted? I can't. 

I'm loosing my brain from how much thinking i have been doing about nothing. Yes, i'm thinking about nothing (as usual) 

Dubai in summer is going to be hot. 

And no, not supermeganfoxyawesome hot. i mean like heat, sweat, humid, smelly, sticky, ridiculous heat that'll eventually drive me crazy. Also, it'll probably give me enough nose bleeds to donate to the people in Africa.

Well, i'm off to study accounting. It's my last IGCSE and i hope it goes better than all that has been on. Hope i don't lose my marks too, or my grade. 

Enough is enough. 

(that was deep)

Yours with no finish line -get it, because i lost?

Me. 

Dear Owls, someday.

Dear Owls, 

One day i'll be big, i'll be famous for all the right reasons. I'll travel the world and i'll have a gorgeous car- Porsche Cayenne of course- and i'll start a huge (and i mean Monster Inc. huge) company, that'll aim on the satisfaction of humans and not their leaders. One day, i'll become the face of people who were too neglected to have one. I'll make sure that everybody on this planet (the galaxy comes later) has a chance to shine; not TV shine, opportunity shine. 

Someday, one day, a day, the day i do this, you'll know. You'll know because you're the first one i'll run to. But, for now, i'm stuck here in this room where i sleep in, only to wake to the sound of my capture once more. 

After completing my IGCSEs, i realized i still have 2 more left to fret about. Which i shall fret about because i'm such a worry wort like that. 

Half the year is over and i'm still struggling between the differences between emails and texts. I do not understand when to use either, i'm socially awkward anyway. No one cares if i were to use any. 

Job hunt?

I'm still hunting, and i'm no road runner. Every time i feel i have a marble's chance of getting a job, i get declined the minute they see my age. 

Not. Fair. 

No offence intended, but i'm pretty sure i could do a better job at getting the job done if i were a few years younger. I'm not saying i want to manage a whole department, i just want the experience of a job. Ah, but no such luck. 

Not giving up though. If there's one thing this blog is giving  me, it's the perseverance of staying loyal to myself. 

Not quitting, not backing down. 

I actually watched a movie called "won't back down" the other day, it's a breathtaking movie, one like every other about schools that don't give the students the upper hand in school teaching and luxuries. The story line went smoothly, i especially loved the choice of actors and actresses; watch it and thank me, if anyone is actually reading my random thoughts of insanity. 

Well, before boredom strikes, i must continue to remind myself that one day, i'll get the satisfaction of having a longer CV; someday. 

Yours with a study frenzy, 

who else?

Dear Owls, give this advice to girls.

Dear Owls, 

Girls around me, or not, do not understand what it means to have faith; faith in themselves especially. They do not understand the significance of having a long talk with themselves about simple things. They do not understand what it means to have an actual conversation with their future and wonder if they'll ever get a response. 

I'm not trying to put them down. I am, after all, one of those girls. I'm still trying to understand, i'm still trying to grasp the idea of not having another chance at times. I can not tell you if tomorrow is going to be easier or if your life will have anymore importance than it does now. I can't predict anything. But i can give you this:

• If someone lets you down, don't let them push you further. 
• If your friend, or family member, is not your comfort anymore, stop leaning on them. 
• When the time comes, you'll stop crying and you'll start reacting. Don't react badly with someone you love, you might lose them. 
• If life gives you lemons, take it. Free stuff is cool. 
• One day you'll feel so mad, you can't breathe. You'll start to wonder if anything is ever worth it. When that time comes, write a letter to someone you love, or even to yourself. Letters, in my personal experience, are the best way to get past lost words. 

Please tell every girl in the world that this gets better. Tell them that i may not know exactly what they're going through and if they're still reading, tell them that they're so so strong. Tell them they're gorgeous and brave, even if they don't feel that right now. I do. 

Ps: Owl if you're a girl. Then this letter may be for you too after all. If it's not, wait your turn, i'm writing a lengthy letter for your species (gender, if you must) too. 

Yours with open arms for a hug, 

Don't leave me hanging, 

C'mon hug me!

Me.

Be yourself, no matter how silly you may seem.
-A girl 

Dear Owls, it's destiny.

Dear Owls, 

Beautiful people, amazing inspirations, jaw-dropping places and then there's me. I'm just there. I'm so much smaller than i put myself for. Nothing i do at this exact moment makes a difference. I'm just one more thing in this fixed, fastened world that continues to revolve even when i beg of it to stop.

So if i'm so insignificant, so petty, why am i here in the first place? Why didn't God just put the important people placed exactly where they should be? Why should we bump into things at unexpected times? Why can't life just be handed to us? Why can't i just meet someone, or something, and hear exactly what i should do with my life? Whether i like it or not, it's going to happen. I have no control of my destiny, it's going to happen, what should i do i about it?
Right?
Wrong.

Thinking about it, if everything was handed to me, i'd probably live in boredom of the monotonous events. I do however feel that, if i am living as a role, might as well make it a good one.

Ralph Waldo once said, "The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

And this scares me because, i have no idea what i'm going to "decide" to be. I can't even decide if i want a cheeseburger with ketchup or without... Wow, cheeseburgers. I need one of those; with or without ketchup.

I'll keep you updated on my long list of questions about life and what not. Until then, wish me luck on my wave of upcoming exams.

Yours with a doubtful smile,
me.

Dear Owls, hire me.

Dear Owls, 

Days in dreamland haven't been going as well as i dreamed (no pun intended)
For the last couple days, i've been desperately trying to get my first "OBE" or out of body experience. To my luck, i have got nothing but nightmares and lost hope that i will never achieve it. 

Right now, I'm at my mother's university writing a blog while she get's her work done. I'm still trying to get a summer job and i continue to believe that if i just give it another push, another try, another... CV? 
You see, it is because i am too awesome, they are too afraid to hire me. Also, the fact that i am only 16 and labour laws in Dubai do not allow it, may affect their approach to my CV. I do not understand how all 50 something states in the US and every corner store in the UK allow it, but Dubai does not; something special huh?

The thing about timing, is that it's always accurate and on time. When you think that what you've got is going to be there forever, you realize that timing is going to come over and crash your party faster than you could say... 
What pisses me off most about it, is that it's never going to be on your side, never. I wish i could live to see the day i am on the same side, working together with timing. Nobody has time to do anything, yet everybody has the correct time. 

"Oh yes Pete boy, it's 5am, time to go to the factory and earn some money for the wife and kids. Don't want to be late now,"

"But i've got things to do and people to see." 

"People? Pete, the only people you're going to be seeing are sweaty factory workers bleeding their veins for their family. They want money and they use their time effectively for it."

"Effectively?" Pete did not like what he heard. "How is wasting your time on coal and wood, let alone the rude people, effective?"

"Boy, you chose this path for yourself. The time given to you was for the factory, not you."

"When did i choose this?" 

"The day you stopped looking at your watch and at your family. Now head along."

So how much time do i really have, Owl? 
I have so many things i want to do, but not enough time to do it. Or do i have too much time, i'm not prioritising? I cannot comprehend watches any more. They do not make sense.

Nothing makes sense. 
Ugh, i'm hungry. 

Yours with a sweet tooth, 
Me

Dear Owls, no cheese.

Dear Owls,

Apart from life, I'm fine. Honest. 

Right now, I'm about to battle a whole lot of dreaming. My head aches for sleep and i shall supply it with the fasted doze i have ever laid eyes on, or not on?

Those who do not sleep, eat. 

For today, i am free; for a limited time though. My next IGCSE exam is on 5th of June and i am anything but excited for that hell hole. Chloe and i, we're planning on going out this Thursday, let's hope all odds are on our side. And my father's.
Yes. He's that kind of parent, but i don't mind it; so you shouldn't either.

Now, would someone please explain to me the difference between 'Yes ma'am, i'd like 3 pizzas and a salad, cheese on the garlic.' and 'No, no cheese on the garlic.' 

Living in Dubai, that's our biggest issue. We haven't got anything else to entertain us with, therefor we complain until we've got too much in our mouths to speak. But oh wait, then we start moving our hands vigorously, with chunks of food being spat all over the place. 
A bunch of pigs we are. Yes, indeed.

Take care Owl, i haven't got much planned ahead, but i will keep you updated. Oh and... i still want that pie from Gloria Jeans. I wasn't joking. I need pie because for reasons. 

Yours with a throbbing head, 
Me. 

Brain-fart.

Could it be any more random?

Dear Owls, I'm failing.

Dear Owls,

I'm up to here with the things I have to do. It's like the world has decided that I should not be able to live. (deep, I know.)

I pity myself not being able to express emotions like, "Hey there stranger, you're nice, want to be friends?."

Study petty things I will not look at when I'm older, look for a summer job I obviously will not get and Skype with the world's most amazing people and try to keep up (don't forget I need to remember to breathe. Oops) 

And now I'm doing nothing. 

Keeping aside my list of uncanny things, I'm totally fine. Just waiting for my IGCSE exams to finish, also, I desperately need a pie. We've got Gloria Jeans right next to us and I have no idea why i'm not there yet.

So, if you haven't taken a wild guess, i'm a student. This is my first serious blog and I have no idea where this is about to head off to.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I appreciate your intense concentration in, what i thoroughly feel was, a waste of energy.  

Proceed at own risk.