Dear Owls, tough.

Dear Owls, 

Why does it always have to be a struggle? Why does life have to toss us lemons? Why can't everything just be easy? Why can't lemonade just be thrown at me?

I guess all you had an answer to my question already. 

I think deep down, us humans like struggle, we anticipate it on our morning walk. We wait for the coffee to spill on our shirt. We want problems to happen. We love when the tough gets worse because only when things get really bad, do we know the people we really are. You don’t become “Mr. Angry Pants” until someone calls you that after a fight. You didn't meet the pretty girl on the way to work if you didn't bump into her, spilling coffee on your shirt and letting her offer you another one. I think, subconsciously, us humans know that it is only within our complications do we find unexpected happiness, and that makes us get through the pain faster, almost letting the problem fix itself. It’s a very powerful technique, and you aren't born with it or raised to think it; it just happens. By the billionth time you've been disappointed, by the billionth and first time you’re just thinking, “You know what, screw it!”… And that’s when you've found the true beauty of problems.

It’s not called giving up by the very least; it’s more like giving in. You give in to the situation because you choose not to run away from it. You choose to go by the “I don’t care what happens next” method, because in reality, you have no control of what happens next, you only control what happens last and how you choose to deal with everything.

I guess I’m just finding it hard to understand that even though I feel horrible at times, I just have to believe that somewhere out there, I’ll be a better person. Then again, I could become a total ass, and I decide which direction I want to take. I could decide whatever goes next- and that terrifies me. What if I go wrong somewhere along the way? What if I already went wrong?

Well, until I find the right and wrong on another messed up Friday,

Yours always,

Me.