Dear owls,
Today marks the day I step into the final semester of my university. I know one day, I'll look back at this and smile. These are insane milestones. I want to make the most of this, or just enjoy it. And if shit happens, I want to take the most out of it. I'm so at peace with how life works, and I know sometimes I get super confused but at the end of the day, it's just you against the world. The rest is just external. You can't take care of the external if you can't take care of yourself.
I wonder about all the things I could've been doing had I not been panicking, and I wonder if stress does actually help me get things done. I don't want to be that person, always stressed. These days, I have've been dealing with stress super well. I did really well on my exams without giving my self acne and gaining 5,000 pounds. I'm proud. That has never happened. And you might think I'm joking, but no. I shit you not, I'd always be stressing and I thought that's who I was a person. I guess, sometimes the pressure gets to me because I know I can do better.
You see, this might sound odd, but I've spoken to the deepest parts of me. I realize how dramatic this may sound some, but to others... you get me. I've had conversations with myself. I've hated myself and loved myself and accepted that I am who I am. For a very long time, I was processing that I'm part of my own gender, part of my own age group.
Whether we like it or not, we're part of a community where you're perceived in a certain way. The trick... be something they don't expect. Always be full of surprises. Never leave them bored. The best part about being alive, is that you could still be anything you want to be. When you're dead, that's it. People will remember everything you've left them with. When you're gone, you have no more chances. And it sucks to think about, but death truthfully doesn't scare me as much as living does. Living is a countdown; and we alllll know how I deal with countdowns and deadlines - I don't.
Reach out to your loved ones and try to meet new people. Don't forget that the best moments come with the ones you've invested your time with. Don't lose hope just because you've lost some people. And never change your values/standards for anyone. I think the saddest thing I see in people is the grudges they keep in their hearts. Our hearts, you see, are like strawberries. Put too much weight and you end up squishing them, bruising them. It's terrible to see how many people are making a terrible mess out of their organs. Learn to let things escape your soul, somethings need to leave your system; like poop.
Here's to better living,
Yours with a passion for improvement and food,
Me.
You see, this might sound odd, but I've spoken to the deepest parts of me. I realize how dramatic this may sound some, but to others... you get me. I've had conversations with myself. I've hated myself and loved myself and accepted that I am who I am. For a very long time, I was processing that I'm part of my own gender, part of my own age group.
Whether we like it or not, we're part of a community where you're perceived in a certain way. The trick... be something they don't expect. Always be full of surprises. Never leave them bored. The best part about being alive, is that you could still be anything you want to be. When you're dead, that's it. People will remember everything you've left them with. When you're gone, you have no more chances. And it sucks to think about, but death truthfully doesn't scare me as much as living does. Living is a countdown; and we alllll know how I deal with countdowns and deadlines - I don't.
Reach out to your loved ones and try to meet new people. Don't forget that the best moments come with the ones you've invested your time with. Don't lose hope just because you've lost some people. And never change your values/standards for anyone. I think the saddest thing I see in people is the grudges they keep in their hearts. Our hearts, you see, are like strawberries. Put too much weight and you end up squishing them, bruising them. It's terrible to see how many people are making a terrible mess out of their organs. Learn to let things escape your soul, somethings need to leave your system; like poop.
Here's to better living,
Yours with a passion for improvement and food,
Me.
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